A man called his mother in Florida. He asked, Mother, how are you doing?     She said, Not too good. I've been very weak.     The son then asked, Why are you so weak?     She said, Because I haven't eaten in 38 days.     The son then asked, How come you haven't eaten in 38 days?     His mom replied, Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food when you called. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MOTHER'S DICTIONARY AMNESIA:  A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again. BOTTLE FEEDING:  An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am too. DEFENSE:   What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside. DROOLING:   How teething babies wash their chins. DUMBWAITER:  One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FAMILY PLANNING:  The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster. FEEDBACK:   The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME:  What you call your child when you're mad at him. GRANDPARENTS:  The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. HEARSAY:  What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. IMPREGNABLE:  A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. INDEPENDENT:  How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. LOOK OUT!:  What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. PRENATAL:  When your life was still somewhat your own. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH:  A contradiction in terms. PUDDLE:  A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. SHOW OFF:  A child who is more talented than yours. STERILIZE:  What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it STOREROOM:  The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything. TEMPER TANTRUMS:  What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children. TOP BUNK:  Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. TWO-MINUTE WARNING:  When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. VERBAL:  Able to whine in words. WEAKER SEX:  The kind you have after the kids have worn you out. WHODUNIT:  None of the kids that live in your house. WHOOPS!:  An exclamation that translates roughly into get a sponge.

DROOLING:   How teething babies wash their chins. Yeah, but they're cute when they do that... Holy stinky nappies Ratbat! I just got in touch with my feminine side! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When did you send these posts? I just got a load dated the 13th!!! RB Lorien wrote in message ... :BOTTLE FEEDING:  An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am too. :Uncles too unfortunately. (No, I DON'T mean when Uncle's THE Daddy! : ROOLING:   How teething babies wash their chins. :Yeah, but they're cute when they do that... : :Holy stinky nappies Ratbat! I just got in touch with my feminine side! : :AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG :HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :

When did you send these posts? I just got a load dated the 13th!!! RB That's because I wrote them on the 13th. I only upload/download on weekends which is why my posts always arrive too late for the party.